Recently I was coaching my little brother’s rec basketball team, and something happened that lingered with me.
For context, these kids are within the age range of 9 to 11, and most of their basketball experience stems predominantly from watching the Jazz play and tossing up a shot during recess here and there. That is to say, this isn’t a die hard league. Surprisingly, I fell in love with coaching basketball, not because ball is life, but because I love helping kids find confidence and fun while stretching outside of their comfort zones. I also found my enthusiasm expanding when it came to the opportunity to provide a new approach to how these kids view the sports-world.
At this particular instance, my team was playing against a team where the coach was… seeming to live vicariously through his players, and that pressure was starting to ooze over into the nerves of my players.
When one of my players missed his shot, his disappointment loomed over him like a puppeteer that had just tightened all his strings. Rebounds, passes and shots that usually had his name on it went unclaimed. When he subbed out he was surprised that I gave him an enthusiastic high-five. I asked him, “Next play, have you ever heard of that?”
He shook his head.
“Next play means that we learn from the mistake we made, accept responsibility and do better next time.” I explained. “You’ve got to remember the things that you bring to the table. Making a shot may be celebrated, and also you have to remember the other ways you make a difference in the game.”
I reminded him of the ways his hustle made a difference, the way that his cheering gave the team a boost, and the ways his defense pressured turnover after turnover.
These past few months though, I’ve been needing that next play reminder myself.
I know it’s easier said than done.
Two simple words. Next. Play.
Throughout my basketball career, I always just took it in the way that I’d learned it as in: if you make a mistake, move on to the next play.
But recently I’ve been thinking of this term to help work through the situations that often feel like they have a sticky negative residue. And it goes beyond just acknowledging the mistakes made and moving on. There is now an emphasis on the word ‘play’, not as a noun, but a verb.
After my ADHD diagnosis, a lot of difficulties I’ve experienced made a lot more sense. And though I’ve got more concrete evidence that proves that I’m not just some lazy and forgetful person like I was conditioned to believe, I still have a hard time allowing myself to work to my strengths the way I know work best for me, as opposed to continuing to perform the “right way” of working. I’ve kept the stubborn scared part of me that wants to do everything just perfectly for fear that otherwise I’ll keep messing up and I’ll never ever achieve anything that is important to me.
How do you think that has been working out?
Yeah, now you may be seeing why this basketball thing has been lingering, huh?
As a creative in a crazy corporate world— nix that, as a human being in this crazy corporate world— it’s easy to get caught up in the rat race. And it’s easy to guilt yourself into forgetting to rest, and forgetting one of the most important elements of anything… Play.
If you think I’m silly for highlighting play as an antidote to stressors and productivity, look no further than instinctual nature instilled in animals. What do baby animals do with each other before they go out on their own? They play. The fun of play is the incentive that encourages them to continue practicing things they were born to do.
We too are animals. And while we are adults and forced into survival mode a lot more often, how impactful would it be to prioritize play while practicing new approaches to our lives?
How unfortunate that “Next Play” isn’t more popular in our culture. My conspiracy theory is that play is frowned upon or considered childish because it is such a powerful tool for connection, liberation and empowerment. (Which is ironic considering how much we worship adults who devote their entire lives to serious playing, aka sports). Think about it, it’s difficult to control beings that aren’t operating out of survival.
So, next time you feel overwhelmed and aren’t sure what you need to do next, maybe consider your next play seriously, and see what happens.